Wednesday, 5 December 2012


What are you doing, reading a blog? It's December.

You should be making a list of things to do. Or crossing things off your list. Or doing something and then putting it on a list so you can cross it off.

All those cards - are you going to send them this year? Mrs Next-door and the old gent up the road are worrying about the cost of postage. Maybe you won't send any, then no one will feel they have to send one to you. But if you don't - they'll think you're mean. Best send one to Auntie Nellie - I thought she'd died - no, not her, she'll go one forever. Phew, cards posted. Look a card from Uncle Jack, he's always early, so sad, he says, about Nellie - why did no one tell me ... and from Phyllis did we send her one, no - well she's your cousin why should I do everything ...

Decorations? Make so much dust, do we really need decorations? Of course, we do, the twinklier the better. Even though twinkles give you a headache. Not got your tree yet? No - quick, make sure it's on the list, we must order one that takes up at least a quarter of the sitting room. And food, don't forget food, mince pies, sausage rolls, never as good as the ones my mother made - get plenty, you'll be feeding thousands (well, December isn't the time to think about all the food that will be left over. But what about all the people who have no money this Christmas - must put an the extra tin in  the food bank. And check out the person up the road, living alone - even if she likes living alone and is quite happy in front of her own fire, thank you, but you can't have that can you. Not at Christmas.

Oh heck, I haven't closed that bracket yet. )

Meanwhile, the children - What is this thing they're asking for - Octonauts - we played with dolls and train sets in my day. Batteries, must buy batteries. Everything needs batteries these days. And sings or flashes or crawls along the floor. Daft, when the kids end up playing with the boxes. Next year, I swear, I'll go to the supermarket and get them a box. Now what are Octonauts again? How did you say we were going to explain three Father Christmases in the High Street?

Wrapping paper. I nearly forgot wrapping paper. Get an extra roll. Though there's never enough.

All this and you've still got real work to do - work can't come to a stop just because it's December. Shops and offices and schools and hospitals and oil rigs and taxi drivers - Christmas is no excuse for slacking you know. You have to cook something for the office party. Can't I buy it? No - if Jilly from HR can manage to cook and her a single parent with six kids then I'm sure you can. Don't forget the secret Santa (what can you possibly buy for that bloke from accounts with the face like a dog's bottom?).

Yes, I know my pronouns are muddled in this post. What makes you think I have time to read it through?

So what little beacon of light keeps you going in the middle of all this?


  1. My beacon of light is that I get two weeks holiday over Christmas - two weeks to rest and read and cook good food and go for winter walks and play board games with my kids. That will be my Christmas present.

  2. Mine's even shorter than Charlotte's. My beacon is just the chance to rest and recharge my own batteries!

  3. I actually celebrate Christmas as a religious festival, so for me, it is a reminder that 'light' came into a dark world. It is a shame that in the commercialism and pressure to have a 'perfect' (?) Christmas, we have lost the wonder of what we are celebrating, and, if you are not religious, the ability to sit and meditate upon the bleak beauty of the natural world at this time of the year

  4. I was just thinking the same thing about cards,whether to send them or not. Do I really care about people I never see or hear from all year long? What keeps me going is that I have two toddlers this year who are bringing back the magic of the season. Great post Jo.

  5. I'm getting dizzy just reading this post, LOL. I take a vacation from social media in December. Put up a Christmas message and then disappear until after the new year. Right now my bare tree is waiting for some lights.

  6. Ha ha, I've got lists!
    I'm sooo debating the Christmas card thing this, I always give in (just want to protest at the cost of stamps!).
    My beacon is the religious side like Carol and having hubby home for two weeks too.
    And the Christmas it!

  7. Every year it takes me by surprise when I realise that once again I have missed the last posting date! :)

  8. What great comments - thank you all.

    I take the point that those who celebrate Christmas as a religious festival might see all the preparations differently - and more constructively, than anyone caught up in the whole greed-thing.

    My solution - wine. (I find wine is the solution to a lot of difficulties.)

  9. ha ha I love this post! I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve when we have christmas dinner and go to the local crib service

  10. Ha ha! I nearly stopped at the first line. You're right, what AM I doing here, it IS December. Kudos to you that I carried on. What keeps me sane? Ummm,starting early enough so that it doesn't become a stress or a chore. My downfall is Christmas cards, I rarely start on them before the 20th so all my laid-back preparation is undone in the last few days. I wouldn't change any of it though, if I'm honest.

    Jo, I've tagged you in The Next Big Thing post over at my site I hope you're not cursing me! You could always answer the questions over a mince pie and Baileys...??

  11. Jaxbee - how kind. I'll have to think ... the next book ... I'll just have to go travelling again ...

  12. Ouch! You're certainly cracking that whip! It would be a scary place if everyone stopped working in the run up to Christmas.

  13. Hee hee! Ermmmmmm, well, I have a new list right beside me and it doesn't include one single reference to Christmas. Whoops! I guess I need to add to the list don't I?