Wednesday 28 November 2012

Do you have a bucket list?

Do you have one? Does it even occur to you to have one?

For anyone who hasn't come across the idea, it's the list of things you want to do before you die - 'kick the bucket', in colloquial terms. Some people want to see Niagara Falls, or fly to the moon, or read all the books of Dickens, go to the theatre to see The Mousetrap - it can be anything.

Good luck to everyone who has a bucket list. I'm sure it's a way of keeping you going, having dreams like this.

But I don't have one; and here is why:

I'm lucky, and I know I am, to live in the affluent west - I have everything I need. If I'm hungry it's because I've missed lunch, not because the rice crop has failed. If my roof leaks I can pay a man to mend it. If my heating fails I can go to friends or family who will give me shelter and wine. I have been taught to read and write and to think - and to ask questions about the wonderful world around us. I have a library within walking distance, know many people who love books and love talking about them.

If it occurs to me that there is something I might like to do - then, if I can, I do it. I want to travel - and so I do. There seems little point in saving a trip to Laos, or Malaysia, or Madagascar until I'm dying. Go now - you never know, I might live for decades and fit in fifty trips before I snuff it.

But there's a deeper reason - what if, say, you foster a travelling list and then are felled by an ailment that dictates you can't fly - or even be far from home. You are left with a piece of paper and wasted dreams. Those around you, who love you - will they ever feel good enough if you are grieving for things you never got round to doing?

When I'm sitting by the fire, sipping cocoa and rubbing my arthritic knees, I'll know I've done the best I could. I'm proud of all I achieved at work. I'm proud of my magnificent daughters. And I'm making the most of retirement. I'm contented now, and hope that I'll be contented by that fading fireside. Or maybe just a little bit crabby, to keep my kids on their toes ...

11 comments:

  1. I don't have a bucket list, mostly because I am greedy: making a list seems limiting and I want as many experiences (and especially travel experiences) as possible.

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  2. No, Jo, no bucket list. I love the term, though! I'm a bit too impulsive to make lists - spontaneity is my key - that and living for the moment.

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  3. PS Your book has arrived! I'll be starting it as soon as I finish "On Writing" by Stephen King. You're in good company there :)

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  4. No I haven't thought of having one. I agree with what you have said and I wouldn't like to leave a list and have my family thinking I wasn't happy because I didn't cross them all off. There are a few countries I would love to visit but my happiness doesn't depend on it.

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  5. I agree with you. It could totally backfire on us, if we created a bucket list that we never completed... although I would really, really, love to dance the waltz wearing a flowing ball gown whilst clinging on to Brendan Cole from Strictly Come Dancing. OK, OK, so that one doesn't count cause it's never going to happen but a girl can dream, can't she!

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    1. Ah Ros, you made me smile with this!

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    2. There's no limit to dreaming Ros. I wouldn't mind a twirl with David Tennant ...

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  6. I always have had one, Jo, but I've always felt something ever so slightly wrong, and I think you've put your finger on it. What an incredibly wise, and life-affirming post :)

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    1. Wise - now there's a word I don't wear easily. I'm not sure wise people go looking for tigers ...

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  7. How very true, and wise, Jo! I have always thought those lists are about marketing tourist destinations, so for that reason alone I'm suspicious of them and disinclined ever to have one.

    But really it is more than this - of choosing not to be caught up in the consumer claptrap, realise how very, very, very lucky we are with what we have. And how well you have pointed it out.

    Not that I don't think people should have dreams of course. Some people do cherish a dream for years and of course they should try to achieve it. It's wonderful when that happens, but my guess is that most peoples lifelong dream is not THAT likely to be a top ten item they read last year in a travel article!

    Dreams exist and come and go of their own accord.

    Great post, Jo, thank you!

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