Sunday 4 December 2016

In defence of Good Blokes

I don't often write about the work I used to do: the challenges and heartaches of Child Protection. But I have been prompted to do so by the recent disclosures of abuse by hundreds of footballers.

We are, rightly, horrified. It is the only possible response to the realisation that all those children have trotted off to football every week, with their boots and their dreams of Wembley, have been exploited by men (almost always men) who used those children for their own gratification. How could this happen? How did we not know? How could nobody stop it?

To begin - I'm not surprised. All organisations - churches, residential schools, sports clubs - close ranks when they feel under attack. It takes extraordinary courage from whistleblowers to stand up and shout loud enough to be heard. We also know that offenders are adept at wheedling their way into any institution that gives them easy access to children. Not just one child - but scores of them.

Does this mean that most coaches are abusers? No, definitely not. What these men have done is unforgivable. But most men are decent, honest, and want only to support their own children. We must not react to this by pointing a finger at every man who supports his son or daughter by spending hours with them at a football club. Offenders must be identified and punished. But we must not conduct a witch-hunt that could catch the vast majority of kind, decent men who are doing their best for their kids.

And this is where the courage of those now speaking out comes in. At last there is a climate in which their voices can be heard. They have names, times, dates, and are pointing fingers. They deserve all our support. For in disclosing what has happened to them, they are provide the foundation which can ensure we keep all our children safer in the future.

10 comments:

  1. Sadly, even in these enlightened days, with police checks, if someone wants to abuse children, they will find a way. I'd also like to see far more 'naming and shaming' of those who bully/abuse and terrify kids online..and yes, even if that is another child! Tragic to read week after week of kids commiting suicide after being driven to utter despair by online bullying. We are also responsible for our own behaviour: when adults see vile men like Donald Trump or Farage slagging off others, it is possible for the very gullible to think it is acceptable. Ditto the screaming racist headlines that now 'grace' the front pages of most of the gutter press. Kids buy their sweets and snacks in newsagents, walking past 'Kill the Migrants' Headlines. We live in an era of free but NOT responsible speech.

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    1. I so agree Carol. I can't understand why the Daily Express and Daily Mail aren't punished for inciting racial hatred.

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  2. I agree with you both. I feel sorry for those men who give up their own time to coach children in football or any other game as all may be tarred by the same brush. Everyone needs to learn to be kinder to each other. I have been on the forums of Gransnet and Mumsnet and when people ask for advice for a problem they have some of the replies are judgemental and bordering on abusive. These are mum's and grandmothers,people who are caring for our children who will be adults of the future. If we can't be caring and kind and hold out a helping hand what chance does the world have?

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    1. Absolutely - as we need men as well as women to set our children a great example.

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  3. I have a memory of an event and it will never leave me. In the 1980s I was a new teacher in a secondary school. One afternoon I spoke to the vice-principal with grave concerns about the safety of a student who was with us temporarily from a local children's home. I was told that I was 'on dangerous ground' and 'out of my depth' and that it was best left alone. I left it alone.

    As I said, I was new, inexperienced, insecure. I know that I would respond very differently today. I'd like to think that the vice-principal would respond differently too but who knows.

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    1. The fact that everyone would respond differently now shows how far we've come. Not much consolation - but we can talk about it now, the first step towards making it better.

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  4. I think the key is to be kinder and more aware of others, although that is sometimes easier said than done.

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  5. I thought I'd commented on this earlier, Jo, but it seems not. I hadn't heard about this, but it doesn't surprise me. I do agree, though. There are so many decent men out there too, they should not be forgotten!

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  6. I hear you and I couldn't agree more with you. At the same time, football is not run by the love of the game anymore, but by money. The FA was slow to react at first (as it usually is). Let's see if action is taken.

    Greetings from London.

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