Sunday 26 July 2015

In search of headspace.

Life is a bit full at the moment - and so reflective times have been precious.

Some years ago I saw an interview with Germaine Greer. When asked what her favourite pastime was she replied, 'thinking.'

I get that - thinking is the most wonderful, creative, energising way to spend an hour or two. If only those hours were more easily available.

The problem - for me at least - is that my current thinking is less creative and more like cogitative soup. One thought doesn't lead logically to another, in a way that might disentangle a problem or two. Instead ideas leap on top of each other like mating frogs, without allowing any breathing time.

I tried writing things down. At least the creation of lists gives an appearance of organisation. But when I tried to write my reflections (often a useful way to make sense of muddled feelings) all I could come up with was general angst.

Soon after that, I needed to cut the grass. Hurrah - an hour for thinking, while I trudged up and down the garden with the lawnmower. Surely there would be logical thought in the sanctuary of my garden. I even put a notebook in my pocket, ready to stop and jot down anything inspiring.

So why could I think about nothing more exciting than to wonder why my socks always fall down under my wellies but not in my shoes. Then I contemplated the lack of intelligence of toads: they hop off into the long grass, while if they were truly bright they'd leap over the mown stuff and hide among the weeds. Then I wasted energy on raging about the dog that had jumped over a fence and left poo on my lawn.

I gave up. Decided I needed a shower. Then, when I was at my wettest and soapiest, I had a flash of insight ... if I tackled this task, then that would become easier ... and then everything would unscramble. Hurrah! If only I could remember what that first task was when I got out of the shower ...

I give up. I'll just carry on snatching thinking time when I can. And if anyone knows of a waterproof notebook please let me know.

8 comments:

  1. It's like 'Don't think about a tiger' ..if you're trying to 'think' your mind never does! Though clearly it was ..even if it wasn't what you wanted it to think. I put on classical music , lie back and just let my thoughts go where they want. Explains so much...

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    1. Thank you. I'm mostly going with the flow, Carol. This will unravel in time!

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  2. It sounds as if you're a bit over-stressed and the more you stress about being over-stressed, the more over-stressed you become and when you're over-stressed you can't think clearly. So, my advice is to try to stop thinking and, just like Carol's tiger, you'll find that you're thinking much more clearly once you stop trying to do it... That makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Now, what was I going to do next?

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    1. Oh how I recognise this circular thinking!

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  3. Jo, you need to go traveling again. It's wonderful for so many things as you know, but gives lots of thinking time too (I'm sure you know that too). My recent travels have been a real salvation.

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    1. Funny you should say that, Val - my kids know to measure my stress levels by where I book a flight to ... I am sorting the winter trip, in the middle of all this!

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    2. Oh, I'm so looking forward to hearing where you are planning to go!

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  4. Yes you need to travel and be by yourself for a bit.

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