Writing the non-verbals

I tried, honestly I tried. I made excuses: I'm not a natural linguist, I don't have the time, that sort of garbage. But if I'm being honest, I just didn't work hard enough. My Spanish is worse than rudimentary - and somehow I was able to delude myself that it was good enough to get by in Cuba.

It wasn't.

There were words I had to learn very quickly (like beer, and breakfast). And my dictionary was soon well-thumbed and a little tatty.

But often I had to fall back on sign language and 'acting'. Now I'm home, with an ebook to think about, I'm  trying find a way to write about that. The problem: I begin with the words I wanted to say but couldn't, and now must find a way to describe my acting-efforts using words in such a way that the original meaning becomes clear.

I'll give you some examples. How would you 'act':

• Do I need to go to the bus station to organise a ticket to Santa Clara, or will it be fine if I just turn up tomorrow?
• Thank you for organising horse-riding. Please tell me they're not going to gallop because I might fall off if they do?
• I'm sorry I'm late for breakfast, but I was out drinking mojitos and listening to music last night.
• How kind of you to get me a birthday cake. How do I cut it?

(The answer to the last question - the woman in the casa just plunged plunged a knife in, scattering icing, and giving me a look that said, 'You might be able to travel round the world, but what sort of woman doesn't know how to cut a cake!)

Just out of interest, how would you mime the horse-riding query?

Birthdays, and why they matter.

I had a birthday this week - no, this isn't a plea for cake (oh well, go on then, just a small slice); but rather an opportunity to reflect on birthdays in general, and why they matter.

In our western culture, birthdays are an opportunity to remind people that they're important - simply because they are alive, have a space in the world, and people around to care enough to buy a card and sing a song (and eat cake together). It's a day we don't share with anyone else (except for twins, who may see things very differently), but to stand on our own little dais, say, 'Hello world, I'm still here - taking up my own little person-space, with my own ideas and dreams, my joys and struggles.'

But - a question here - how much is this a western-centric celebration, based on a notion of the right of individuals to self-expression and self-determination. Our focus of interest is the individual - competition (even if it's only fighting for the last slice of cake) is based on one person's claim or ability over another's.

Not every culture organises itself as we do. Some Asian families regard the focus of interest as the family unit - so an individual who travels to distant parts, works their socks off in cockle-fields or bean-picking or care homes, shares an attic with six others, and sends all his or her money home to feed parents or children, or pays for a sister's education - is working for the family, not for personal gain. The woman who works in the fields while her husband hunts in the jungle, the children who cannot go to school as they are needed to help herd the goats - they all assume that the survival of the family takes precedence over individual needs or feelings.

But does that mean that they have no occasion to celebrate their own unique place in the world? No one will sing to them, make them a cake, remind them that they matter just for being who they are.

From my perspective, it feels essential that we all have birthdays, a day just for us. But maybe I'm blinkered by my western upbringing. Does anyone else see it differently?