A little foolishness today, and antidote to the excitement at the ebook festival.
The lovely Val Poore has been blogging about steering boats down canals, which has involved a close shave or two, and I've admitted a little carelessness of my own from time to time in the comments. Write about them, she said.
Oh heck ... do I have to write about the day I tried to back down a narrow passageway, didn't get it quite right and took off both wing mirrors ... the day I overdid the wine and tried to carry a blown-up lilo through a door, taking a run at it, veering from the straight and narrow till those watching were crying with laughter (my memory of this, mercifully, is blurred by the wine!).
Don't we all do stuff like this? There you are, in a crowded cafe, and really want ketchup on your chips and shake the bottle without checking the cap ... to find the woman behind has a her best cream jacket over the back of her chair (and no sense of humour). Or this is the moment you simply have to prune that shrub, so on with the gloves and out with the loppers and there you are, in the middle of the thing, and a branch falls on your head and you're stuck. Now what? you think. Will someone come to the front door and decide she simply has to ask the neighbours if she can come in through their houses just in case I'm stuck inside a shrub?
I suppose not many of us have tried to close a window in the middle of the night with a cyclone raging outside. Or slithered down a rock face onto a beach in Australia to admire the sunset without wondering how to get up again. Or played explorers in old temple near Angkor Wat and crawled through a doorway to hear a passing guide say there was a cobra under the stone beneath my knees.
I know those were a bit extreme. We don't get cyclones or cobras in the UK. But surely we all do daft things sometimes? (Please, admit some of yours, so I don't feel quite such a wally!)
Hilarious. I love the 'stuck inside a bush' scenario the best I think. You ask if I ever behave daftly? Well, haven't we just had a chat on Twitter about my tea party yesterday afternoon with singing and fun resulting in much trodden-in food on the rug, spilt tea across the table and more mess than a room full of toddlers could ever have created!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you behaved so badly at your tea-party, If you can - we all can!
DeleteJo, this reminded me of a flight to Berlin, when my husband opened a pot of yoghurt that came with the lunch, not noticing that the pressure had made the lid bulge. Most of the spray, when he opened it, landed on the immaculately-dressed German business woman's shoulder and sleeve next to him and she didn't notice! He looked at me in horror and then, to his immense credit, told her what had happened and helped her to mop up. She, in turn, took it all in her stride, assured him in excellent English that it was nothing and,since she had been given tangerine-flavoured yoghurt which she didn't much like, asked if she might swap with his partially-exploded cherry one! At the end of the flight, she made a point of wishing him a lovely stay in Berlin. What a superb example of dignity and refinement she was!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful she was. I just wish my ketchup woman had been so gracious. (I might not have helped by laughing - even so, there was no point in being quite so grumpy!)
DeleteGosh! That is the definition of a gracious lady. How marvellous that an annoying incident turned into something quite inspiring on how to behave when things go wrong.
DeleteOh Jo, I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes about the lilo and the narrow doorway. I just love that image I have of you doing that. I know I've confessed to some hopeless boating booboos on my blog, but I do admit they weren't mine alone. I've done many ludicrous things too, though - like the time, I got cross with a colleague when she criticised my driving and - wait for it - marched out of the office, leapt in the car and reversed thwack into the parking pole that I'd forgotten to unlock and put down. Or there was the time when just for once I wore a skirt to work, went to the loo, and got it hooked up in my nickers. It took me a good five minutes to discover why my students were sniggering…ho hum!
ReplyDeleteOh the dreaded skirt in the knickers moment - there must be many woman nodding in sympathy with that one, Val.
DeleteA cobra? I can't beat that one. I only learned to drive in my forties and gave up after about six years as I hated it. One day at work I parked the car next to the swimming baths, it was always so hard to find a space and I can't remember why but when I finished work it was dark and I was hemmed in the space by two other cars,I couldn't reverse out without bumping them,I nearly cried. So I had a quick look around and no one was about so I drove forward up and along pavement to get out.I have to say this was a side pavement at the side of swimming baths that no one would really used but I was so scared someone would come for their car and shout at me.I drove home shaking and never even told my husband. Oh goodness I'm so glad I'm car less and stress free.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a car, Anne - I reckoned if I could get round India on buses I could do so in Wiltshire. I hire one if needed, and most of the time I'm on buses, with time to read and far less angst!
DeleteI have done my share of stuff like this but would prefer not to make a public confession :). Buti have many times gone places from where I didn't know how to get back...you are definitely not alone.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes the best things that happen when you're lost - but that beach in Australia was a big mistake.
Deletehahaha. You are funny....but...remember the blog post I did about getting stuck in the snow in a borrowed transit...and having to be towed out by Lithuanian builders? This is the fun stuff...and what makes us wise...and interesting. So long as we can laugh about it. (BTW: mobile in fridge,left house in slippers,the list is endless...) Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't life be dreadful if we forgot how to laugh at stuff like this!!!!
DeleteHaving been cherishing a carpet I particularly like, I knocked someone else's glass of red wine over it last night. Even worse, SHE kept apologising, no matter how often I said it was my fault. Somehow very embarrassing, I don't know whether it was being clumsy or having her insisting on taking the blame when everyone saw it was me!
ReplyDeleteOh heck - do hope the stain came out, or did everyone rush around pouring salt on it (and other stuff that, in my experience, doesn't work!)?
DeleteWhen I had just had my second daughter I had to take my first daughter, 11 years older than the new baby, to a friend's house. Now, in my defense, I had only just given birth and that does strange things to your head, but all I can say it thank goodness I didn't leave the baby in the car.
ReplyDeleteWhen I returned to the parked car it wasn't; parked I mean, it had rolled about 100 yards down the hill and up the verge across the road. It was still on the grass when I found it, the hazard lights were flashing to indicate that the alarm had been sounding.
Oh heck - at least no harm was done. (Many years ago, when I was training as a probation officer, someone came into the office and asked who had the morris minor, for the brakes had failed and it had rolled into the walls of the court building!)
DeleteHi Jo. Picked you up at Val's. Love your hilarious post. Been to Oz have you? I saw your Lille post and it brought back memories. Gorgeous place. I travel a lot and have certainly done too many crazy embarrassing things to mention.
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Denise. Yes, I travel whenever I can - and still too many places to visit than time to see them all!
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