In my last post, I wittered about my general uselessness on the DIY front - and how kind you all were. It's fine, you said, to have ten thumbs disease (thank you, Jennie, for that phrase). You're just good at other stuff.
Then I was listening to the Radio the other day, and someone was telling me how I need to be confident, and celebrate my wonderfulness, and that we all have the right to get to the top (she didn't say what top) - all we need is to believe in ourselves. She didn't seem to realise that if we all make it to the top, then it will be a very crowded place and the underlings will have to work like ants to keep the high and mighty in the style they believe they deserve.
Surely (and correct me if I'm wrong here) it must be possible for us all to enjoy the stuff we're good at without needing to be better, or superior, or richer than other people? Side by side with this idea - surely it's fine to say there is stuff we're not good at, and that doesn't make us failures?
Aren't most of us doing the best we can - to feed and protect ourselves and those we love, to have some fun, to experience enough intellectual fulfilment to keep ourselves stimulated? Yet the media would have us believe that such humble aspirations are worthless, that if we aren't longing to look like the rich and famous (or at least share their riches) then we are Missing Out.
So - I'm Missing Out. But I'm happy. And I refuse to kowtow to those who would have me believe that my contentment is out of place in our western culture. Am I really in a minority of one?
No, Jo, you aren't! In such a minority that is :-) My feeling is that all this competing for pole position and all this encouraging people to be dissatisfied with what they have is feeding expectations that cannot be met. As my mother used to say, it can only end in tears - of disappointment.
ReplyDeleteIt's the life-blood of the system, Val - keeping us dissatisfied so we're always wanting more. Great that there are some of us still bucking the system.
DeleteYou're not, Jo. I completely agree. I've always believed that we should set our own standards and never compare ourselves to anyone else - apart from this being a whole lot healthier, I think there's a lot more likelihood of the individual gaining focus this way and achieving that contentment.
ReplyDeleteContentment is a precious word these days, Abi - and a precious feeling. Good thing there are still some of us who can define it!
DeleteIt's quite soul destroying to always want to be the best. I am with you on this, Jo.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the content corner, Jenny!
DeleteCount me in too. We should have lessons in how to be satisfied with our lot, not how to elbow everyone out of the way to overtake them. I wouldn't want to be up there at the top anyway. I'm happy scrubbing around at base camp (i suspect that was another mixed metaphor!)
ReplyDeleteYou too, Ros - and mixed metaphors are welcome here, too.
DeleteI think that is the top, though - and that's why it's not defined. The top is achieving what is important to you, whether it's climbing mountains, making good cakes, or keeping things under control.
ReplyDeleteI see what you're getting at - the top is what you need it to be. What I'm questioning is the notion of 'the top' peddled by the Media (the programme I heard was Woman's Hour - talking about the importance of every woman making the most of herself, which was fine until they suggested that hospital cleaners should aspire to be hospital managers, rather than be the best cleaner they could possibly be. That's when my eyebrows raised!)
DeleteAbsolutely - but I think it is not a stage we reach until we get older. Youth is always striving and comparing. I don't know about you, but since turning 60 3 years ago, I have begun to see contentment as the best thing in life.
ReplyDeleteIs it age? Or just a life event that brings the really important things into focus? Though I'm not sure I ever aspired to looking like Twiggy, or having the sort of money/fame etc of Cilla Black. My role model, if anyone, was Germaine Greer!
DeleteWhat is wrong with being normal and ordinary?
ReplyDeleteBeing successful, in whatever field, is a fleeting high - often no more than an ego trip. It brings its own stresses and pressures.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leigh - I think it's about being happy with who we are, ordinary or eccentric, rather than climbing a hypothetical ladder to be something we're not!
DeleteI think as long as you are happy who's right is it to tell you that you should be doing better. My son is a motor mechanic and the next step in his job would be to be in charge of the workshop but he says the amount of pay rise he would recieve for the extra resonsibility is not worth it. The same with my daughter who's a Social Worker,next step is a lot more responsibility for not much money, maybe that's what holds some people back.
ReplyDelete